Congratulations! You have found that special someone who you want to share the rest of your life with. You are ready to take the next big step in your relationship and formalise things with the bond of marriage. Oh no! That means you will have to have a wedding…
A wedding can be a huge source of stress for a bride who suffers from social anxiety. It can be a beautiful and meaningful ceremony, and a very important day in someone’s life. But the idea of an actual wedding in front of lots of people, can make an anxious person feel cripplingly terrible.
So, what to do to get through wedding planning, and to feel a little less pressured, when you really do want to get married, but are dreading the prospect of the actual wedding?
There is no need to rush things. Engagement is also a big step in a couple’s relationship, so if you first want to enjoy being engaged for a little while before being married, then it is fine to take your time, have a long engagement and not rush in to a wedding.
Remember, it’s OK to be not OK. You and your partner know how much you mean to each other. You both know that you’re ready to commit. But, if they know you well and love you then your anxiety about this event will come as no surprise to them and they will love and accept you and your feelings. Discuss your emotional state with your partner and talk about the aspects of the day that are concerning you the most. Together, work out ways to get around or even avoid these anxiety-inducing aspects of the day.
Choose the traditions that you like, and ignore the ones you don’t. You don’t have to say longs vows to each other, you don’t have to give a speech, and you can walk down the aisle together if that makes you feel more relaxed. Some couples choose to elope, and go it alone. But if you have a tight-knit group of friends and family that you know you want with you as you say your vows, then include them, but you don’t have to have a huge guest list if you don’t want one.
So many women have been conditioned to believe that their wedding day is somehow the grand aim of their life – the best and biggest day of their life. So, it’s not surprising that many brides feel huge amounts of pressure in the run-up to their wedding. Take some time to consider what your wedding really means to you both, and take the pressure off a little. Yes, it’s a big step, but it’s just a step. You have probably made other big steps in your relationship together with less fuss and planning, and you will make other big steps together in the future, you have a long future together, so appreciate the wedding for what it is. A bridal or life coach can certainly help with these issues.